The Steps of Positive Thinking:

If you want to be unstoppable in life then follow the steps of positive thinking outlined below. This is a process developed by Dr Albert Ellis who is one of the world's leading psychologists. He developed a school of thought called "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT focuses on helping you to discover irrational beliefs which could lead to negative emotions that could cause you to quit or give up on being all that you could be and helps you to replace your thoughts and beliefs with more productive alternatives.

People react differently to the same circumstances.

Let's say in your workplace that it has just been announced that there is going to be a layoff of some of the team members.

Some individuals may respond by thinking "This is unfortunate, although there are valid reasons why it's happening. It's sad, but I'll continue to go on, it'll will be okay" .

Whereas another person may say "This absolutely should not have happened. It's not fair and there's no way I will be able to carry on with my life" .

The first person's still feel sad however his/her response will lead them to the decision that life will go on regardless. The second person's response may lead him/her to anger and/or depression and giving up in every area of his/her life.

It is within your power to change your beliefs profoundly and consequently radically enhance your mental and emotional health. It does take some discipline to apply these steps of positive thinking, but if you do use the steps of positive thinking you will find that you can minimize the self-defeating beliefs that can hold you back from success and maximize your rational (self helping) beliefs that drive you toward achieving what it is you want.

The Five Steps of Positive Thinking:

The ABC model developed by Dr Albert Ellis

A stands for Adversity
B for Beliefs you automatically have when it occurs
C for the usual Consequences of the belief,
D for your Disputation of your routine belief and
E for the Energization that occurs when you dispute it successfully.

The step of disputation is the powerhouse within the steps of positive thinking and so needs a little more explanation. Checking out the accuracy of your automatic beliefs and thoughts is what disputation is all about. The disputation stage has four important components.

The Steps of Disputation

Evidence: Here you want to attempt to get a good dose of reality. What are the facts in the matter. In the example I just gave the evidence is that three team members are still with me and who are prospering well under my leadership. The key at this stage is to adopt the role of detective "What is the evidence for this belief?" They key is to avoid catastrophizing what has just occurred and search out real evidence.
Alternatives: What could be all the possible contributing causes and focus on those that are temporary and specific rather than permanent and pervasive. For example if you failed a test it might have been because you were tired or didn't study hard enough, rather than you are not smart enough. The key is to ask yourself "Is there a less destructive way to look at this?".
Implications: If the facts are that reality says your beliefs are true then the most powerful thing you can do is to decatastrophize. You need to say to yourself "What does it imply?" How likely is the worst-case scenario. If you failed an examination does that mean you will never get a job? If one person resigns does that mean that you will never grow this business? At this point go back and search out the evidence
Usefulness: Sometimes the consequences of holding a belief matter more than it's truth. Is the belief destructive? The response "I'm no good" is the recipe for giving up completely. A good tactic is to detail all the ways you can change for the future. Get coaching in this area

We all have challenges/adversities in life. Your success is dictated by how quickly you bounce back from those challenges. For many people because they don't know how to use these steps of positive thinking, they sadly hit a challenge, their negative thinking and beliefs kick in and that's it game over. They give up on their goal.

By changing your interpretation of the event, asking yourself better questions and disputing your automatic beliefs will enable you to stay in the game, to continue to take action, to be empowered and engaged.

Example of the Steps of Positive Thinking in action

Adversity: One of my team members just resigned, quoting family reasons

Beliefs: It's because I'm not a good leader that she left. If I had been more inspiring she would have stayed with me. I'm no good at this, maybe I'm just not cut out to be a leader, running my own business.

Consequences: I feel lousy, and sad and thought about giving away trying to build the business.

Disputation: Hang on. I have three other team members who are still with me and who appear to be happy that they are on the team. Maybe the reasons she gave were true and really did have nothing to do with me. Maybe her needs were different from what she had said they were. One team member resigning does not mean that I'm not meant to build this business. As I keep improving my leadership skills I'll be able to attract and retain people in my team. I'll get my coach to help me more in this area.

Energization: I feel much better, more focused and calm. I was able to put my energy into improving my leadership capability. I even feel more reconnected to my dreams and goals for this business.

Does this mean that you are eternally positive and never feel bad? Of course not. But what it does mean is that you need to train yourself to use the steps of positive thinking and look at situations and experiences with a very pragmatic view. You train yourself to ask better questions as you apply the steps of positive thinking. By asking better questions you will get better results.

Using the Steps of Positive Thinking with Your Team

You can use the steps of positive thinking with individual team members and groups when you come up against a challenge that might stop you in your tracks.

Let's say:

Adversity: You've just been told of a major change in the way in which you work, which many people fear

Now you work with your team to help them list some of the thoughts and beliefs that are experiencing

Beliefs: This should never have happened, it's not right, this is a crappy place to work, they don't care about us, I hate working here, I'm glad we've still got jobs,

Now talk to your team about the consequences of holding on to these negative emotions:

Consequences: Anger and resentment, internal conflict, uncertainty, increased sick leave, not speaking to managers, poor communication, sadness, not wanting to come to work, sabotage

Now you lead your team through a disputation process, looking at other options on how they could respond, the usefulness of the beliefs they are carrying

Disputation: Sometimes our old way of working has been ineffective and caused us to work harder than we could, it seems we are going to get a lot of training and support to make sure we understand the new way of working, it will mean that we can ensure the security of the company and our jobs for a longer time because we become more competitive, it will be better for our customers in the long term, when we have had changes in the past our team mates have always helped each other and they will surely do the same this time

If you facilitate this process well, you may find your team members begin to laugh at some of their debilitating thinking. Ask your team to create a list of the new behaviours and thoughts they may want to hold to feel more energized by this change:

Energization: New behaviors might include: Take responsibility for learning your part of the change process, be understanding that sometimes communication may not occur in the way that you'd hope, look for ways to help make the change as seamless as possible.

Continue to reinforce the new thoughts and behaviors with your team (collectively and individually) and you should find that they will remain energized.

Good luck in using the steps of positive thinking. Applied regularly and consistently you will become unstoppable!

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