Signs of a Bad Relationship
Here are some of the signs of a bad relationship along with tips that you may find useful to make any relationship work
- No Exclusive Time Together. Without quality time no relationship survives. Regardless of whether it's your life partner or someone who is reporting to you, create the space that enables the two of you to spend exclusive time together, so the relationship is well-nourished - and this is just as important in the context of the workplace as it is in personal relationships.
- Snide/Sarcastic/Negative Comments - This is one of those easy to spot signs of a bad relationship. Everyone wants love and acceptance - no matter who it is from. Keep good feelings in your relationships by regularly sharing genuine, loving, praising words, and gestures. People remember the negative before the positive. Research suggests that you need five positive experiences to negate one negative experience.
- Defensiveness kills relationships. If you are showing polite interest in a conversation you are probably clinging to your own point of view and possibly becoming defensive. Shift to a stance of wanting to learn and curiosity, that will ensure success in any relationship.
- Only One Person's Needs are Being Met: Give and take. Make sure there is balance between your needs and the other persons needs being met. Learn to negotiate so that you both get what you want. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher
- Words are Being Spoken, but No Listening is Happening: Listen beyond the words. Let the other person know how much you appreciate it when they have truly listened to you. This will encourage you to remember to do the same for the other person.
- Buried Resentments are Poisonous. This is one of the signs of a bad relationship that can be easily overlooked. If something is bothering you let the other person know, quickly but calmly. Focus on working together to find a solution.
- Your Differences are Creating Friction: Celebrate Your Differences. Differences often make for a well-rounded relationship. Their strengths may well be your weakness and vice versa. Find ways to love, appreciate and use their idiosyncracies for the greater good of you both.
- Punishing Another Person Rarely Works. Sure you may get a short term change in behaviour, but you'll never get a long term commitment to you or the relationship if you use punishment as a tool. A better approach is to reward the behaviour you like and ignore the behaviour you don't want.
- Broken Agreements Not Acknowledged. We all have times when we have an integrity glitch and break promises.If You Break An Agreement, Face it Directly. Find out what needs to be done to fix your integrity glitch and do it.
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Forgetting to be Grateful: Give the gift of a compliment. A simple "great coffee" can be of great value to someone who is feeling taken for granted.
If you are facing any of these signs of a bad relationship and would like to discover the skills to improve the relationship, then download my ebook "Influence Your Way To Success