The Meaning of Success

The meaning of success is different for all of us. For most it has something to do with the level of influence, affluence and lifestyle that you live. But is that the only way to define prosperity?

A few weeks ago I met a woman who by most people's standards is exceptionally successful. Regularly interviewed on national television and radio, fabulous husband and two gorgeous children, she has the money and lifestyle that most people only dream of. Yet spend a few hours in her presence and you get the sense that she feels like her life is a bust!

The problem is, she isn't living a life that she feels she owns. It's very clear that she has jumped through all the hoops and collected all the trophies that would suggest she should be feeling happy, fulfilled and content with her life. Yet it seems she is none of these. In fact her 'success' is missing something.

Halfway through the conversation it struck me, this person hasn't gotten what my 12 year-old daughter has.

Recently Connor and I were talking about life and what it meant to be successful. She said "I think success is being the person you can be and living your life the way you want to."

Connor already, somehow, seems to understand that being popular or doing what everyone else wants her to do (e.g. I want her to have dancing lessons, she's got a lot of natural talent, but she resists saying "I'm a free spirit and I want to create my own style" - so exasperating for her Mother!) is not as important as living her values, setting her own goals and feeling content within herself.

At 12 she already gets that the meaning of success is enjoying a life that is her own, not one dictated to her by me or anyone else.

As I talked with this very impressive and influential woman in her 40's it came to me that she just hasn't 'gotten it'. She is still working hard to be approved of, to be popular, to be the leader of the pack, to fit the mold. Even though she has the recognition and wealth that she probably always desired, in her own eyes she isn't succeeding. Her life is not fulfilled, because it isn't hers. She's the mouse on the wheel created by others.

Absolutely, the meaning of success can be fame, more money, bigger house, more toys etc. There's no question about it: these are the things that make for a great life, but they aren't the things that lead to fulfillment.

Success is not about being driven by peer pressure to dress the right way, dance the right way, listen to the right music, live in the right neighborhood, have the right size house, drive the right car or have the right career.

Your halcyon days are when you live your own life, according to your values, doing things that are meaningful to you and bring you joy.

Living with passion, following your heart, being loving and loved and making a difference either big or small to all who come into contact with you - these are the true meanings of success.

Ultimately the meaning of success is contained within your heart. How are you feeling? If it's celebratory then you are living a successful life. If it is something less than that it may be time to redefine who you are and how you are living.

Take the rocking chair test. When you are 100+ sitting in your rocking chair reviewing your life, how fulfilling has it been?

The path to success can be many and varied: building a business, being a leader, creating art or music, being a politician, teacher, health practitioner, being a stay at home Mum or Dad.

Whatever you choose, make sure it is YOUR path and that you are - to quote a very wise 12 year old - "being the person you can be and living your life the way you want to".

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