High Performance Leaders Build Strong Healthy Relationships

Key Messages:

Without strong, healthy relationships life is meaningless
Relationships enable you to learn all you need to know about yourself
People often mirror to you, your greatest insights
Assume responsibility for your part in the relationship

Who did you call when you heard about 9/11 - your stockbroker, your banker or someone who has significance in your life? At the final count, what makes for a significant life are the relationships you have. It is not how much money you have, nor how many possessions you have accumulated. It is the quality and depth of love that you surround yourself with, (both in and outside of work).

Just as strong, healthy relationships are the foundation of any great life; strong, healthy relationships are the foundation upon which any great organization is built. Your ability to lead well is directly proportional to your ability to establish strong and healthy relationships. And yet, you probably have had at least one relationship which has been challenging - an unhealthy relationship, that you'd rather not have experienced. Is there a reason for challenging relationships?

Relationships are our great mastery university.

Relationships help you to discover all you need to know about yourself, they give you the opportunity to discover your soul's purpose: to move beyond ego-driven, personality games and to become more connected with your higher potential. Relationships can cause you to be at your greatest and they can cause you to be at your most base.

Your daily relationships are the vehicle through which your potential has the most opportunity to be discovered and where your greatest soul growth opportunities reside. It is true that the relationship you have with yourself is where your most significant learning begins and ends, but it is the relationships you have with others where your most significant learning arises.

Sitting on a side of a mountain chanting 'ohm' can be a path to spiritual growth - possibly a very slow path. However interacting each and every day with a multitude of people ensures that you are constantly growing and learning, personally and spiritually .

The true role of any relationship that you have, work, family, partner, is to awaken within each other your potential. Now awakening potential is not always plain sailing. Your relationships, on a spiritual level, are designed to stimulate within you the very fears that you need to face.

For example if your soul needs to learn how to be forgiving or patient or how to not be a victim, you are going to attract to you relationships that will help you learn these lessons. You will attract someone that will do something that you need to forgive, you will attract someone that will drive you to distraction and so that you can learn to be patient, you will attract someone that will victimise you so you have the opportunity to learn to find your voice.

People Often Mirror To You, Your Greatest Insights

Instead of seeing a person as a challenge, someone you'd rather not be around, you could see that person as a gift from the universe. Someone who is going to help you learn and improve as an individual and as a leader.

The person that you struggle with may well be showing you (through the lens of a reflective mirror) something:

you are denying about yourself, or
you don't like about yourself, or
that you fear, or
that violates one of the rules in your internal rule book.

For example, say there's a person in your team that you struggle with because you find them to be dominating. The "Dominating Mirror" could be reflecting:

a dominating streak you sometimes exhibit (and don't like about) yourself, or
your desire that you could be more assertive rather than being a doormat, or
that you don't believe you are worthy of being heard
that you judge people who "dominate conversations", as poor communicators and leaders

Strong, healthy relationship flourish with self-discovery

People often blame the other person for the way they are feeling and the state of the relationship. In truth, the other person may well need to modify his/her behaviour. However, if you are focused on living a significant life through strong, healthy relationships and being your best, then assume responsibility for changing the way you react to the other person and his/her way of behaving. You will establish strong, healthy relationships with others when you:

Establish what you want from that relationship and that person

Go within to discover what it is this person and this relationship could be teaching you and how you could see that person as one of your spiritual teachers

Seek out the gift that may be available to you and the other person when you are going through a challenging time

Change what you have been doing, how you have been reacting

Spend the time building, nurturing and respecting your relationships

Every great leader is a master at building strong, healthy relationships. However, strong, healthy relationships begin with self-discovery. If you haven't got someone mentoring you to help you on your self-discovery journey then get one now! It is the quickest and best way to high performance and releasing the potential of your soul!

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